Do you really think your relationship conflict is about chores, hygiene, or dirty socks on the bedroom floor? It’s not. Trust me.
Sure~~~ Wanting to strangle your husband from time to time is perfectly normal. But if you’re constantly coming up against the same relationship problem- and experts say most couples do- then you’ll have to get to the root of the conflict if you want to move forward as a happier, healthier, more connected couple. No partnership is exempt from these patterns, but they can most definitely corrode perfectly loving bonds over time.
A healthy relationship~ just like everything else in life, needs care and attention.Figuring out how to fix a relationship is the challenging part and where my expertise comes in. There are so many different dynamics involved and it’s really difficult to know where exactly the balance went off. It can often be helpful to get a third party involved to help couples see the deeper issues and begin to untangle their unhealthy web. But nevertheless, arriving at couples therapy really doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship. Even the unhappiest of relationships can be fixed with a bit of understanding and love. If you are still very much in love with your partner and willing to work on your relationship~ it may be helpful to read these four simple pointers on how to nurture your relationship that may feel off balance from time to time.
Ask yourself honestly- How did I deal with the situation the last time I disagreed with my partner? Most couples I see, prefer to just end an argument with silent evenings rather than face the situation. There’s also the option of giving each other some space for a a few days and wait for the issue to get sorted out by itself. But- by avoiding a confrontation, you would end the fight but you really can’t understand each other or help each other. Problems that are brushed under the carpet always have a way of creeping back up.
My suggestion? The next time you’re feeling frustrated, irritated or lonely- talk about it with your partner and try to get over the issue in that moment.
We’re all human- and all of us make mistakes, even the most perfect of people. If you want to know how to nurture a relationship and be successful at it, you must learn to forgive one another. If you feel something’s wrong in the relationship or if your partner’s done something unacceptable, talk to your partner without accusing or shouting at them. Help your partner understand how you feel about the situation. And, unless an inexcusable mistake is repeated, learn to forgive and move forward.
Learn to give in. It’s as simple as that. It’s surprising to see that so many individuals struggle in a relationship because of this one thing alone. Over 10 years of working with couples in private practice, I’ve noticed both men and women becoming more and more stubborn with one another. It’s really difficult for people to give in. Here’s what I like to point out when I see this… If you truly love your partner~ seeing them smile or have a good time would make you happy too, wouldn’t it?
4. Grow.Relationships need to grow constantly, similar to how individuals need to grow. When a relationship stagnates, you start to lose interest in it and soon, you stop caring about it. Learn to improve a relationship, by learning from each other and giving each other enough space to grow as individuals. Only by becoming better individuals can both of you become better lovers. These 4 fixes on how to nurture a relationship can seem trivial and easy- But that’s the whole point. Sometimes, the most complicated of knots need only a small tug where it matters. Are you or someone you know looking for a Couples Therapist who specializes in Relationships? Contact me HERE! I offer face-to-face sessions in Orange County as well as Online through eTherapi.